Apologize? For what?

10997514_10205270653118620_3999974275813258956_nHave you noticed Americanized women apologize for every little thing, even if it is something they didn’t do? I went last week to get my gel nail polish changed at a local salon. I had an hour to kill before serving ice cream at my kid’s school. I pulled up, walked in, chose my nail polish color, and sat down. All of the workers there are Vietnamese so they are always speaking their native tongue( I know they are talking about us! lol) A woman in the pedicure chair began her pedicure with an apology upon sitting down. Her words were “I am sorry for the way my feet look.” Another woman two chairs down from me said she was sorry for the condition of her nails. When I was at Target, I caught myself saying sorry when someone said excuse me to get passed me in the shampoo isle. My daughters always out of habit say sorry, even when it’s not something to be sorry about. Why do we do this? What about us do we have to apologize for? Are we doing this as some sort of putting a feeler out there to not offend or just be accepted by the other person? Is this a lack of confidence or just a knee jerk reaction? Woman have to stop apologizing for things that they shouldn’t be sorry for. I believe this action gets in the way of true success. Our brains are thinking in a different mode and it is getting in the way of going after your dreams. Be unapologetic when it comes to your looks, your drive, your talent. We should only apologize when we wrong someone. Looking at shampoo at Target is nothing to be sorry about. I need to break the habit myself and stop apologizing for things out of my control. If you didn’t wrong someone, you don’t need to apologize. Make peace with whatever part of you is holding you back and move forward full speed to your true calling. Let’s break that cycle of apologizing so our kids grow up confident and happy. You are beautiful and talented. Think about the positive aspects of yourself and carry those feelings with confidence!!!!!

It’s not Impossible, It’s I’m Possible!

We all have that little voice inside our heads that speaks negatively to us. I know that voice used to be super loud and it hindered me from being successful or following through on anything. I would start projects with good intention and never finish them. I would doubt myself during the process and ditch whatever it was I was doing. What is my purpose in life? I have struggled with this question for years! Throughout my growing up I questioned what I was supposed to accomplish here on Earth. What was my passion? I love the phrase, “It’s only impossible until it is done.” It is so true! The mind is an amazing tool. We can use it for building a solid foundation for ourselves or we can use it to destroy ourselves. It wasn’t until last year, when the whole right side of my face became paralyzed, that I realized how strong I was. I was going through some difficult times with my kids and life just seemed to be burying me alive. I felt stressed and yet hopeful. I clung to positive thoughts and prayers. During Sunday night dinner, I sat with my kids and husband. I was feeling anxious so I decided to have a small glass of wine. As I sipped this small jelly sized jar of delicious Cabernet Sauvignon, I noticed the wine was missing my mouth and rolling down my chin. I hadn’t looked in the mirror at all that day. I rushed to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and tried to smile. My face didn’t work! The whole right side of my face didn’t move. I couldn’t even blink my eye all the way. I freaked out and my husband rushed me to the Urgency Room. I could have sworn I had a stroke. After many tests, a young doctor came in and gave me the diagnosis of Bell’s Palsey. The name itself made me feel absolutely horrible. What did I have? I told Alex to give me my phone so I could Google it. As I looked at the photos posted online and the explanation of the condition, I began to lose hope. I felt so bad and I thought my life was over. I know that sounds so shallow but that is how I felt. Feelings are feelings and I had feelings of loss and despair. I texted my mom who is an acupuncturist. She came over right away and put needles throughout my body. She told me she was going to do the stroke points. I figured, it can’t hurt. As I lay there with so many needles in my body, I started to feel more calm. I was able to breathe and get inside my head. I thought good and hard about my life. I was thinking about the new job I just started the previous week and my job involved talking to people. How am I going to speak if I can’t move my face? I felt like crawling in a hole and never showing my face to the world again. I knew that if I did that I wouldn’t be setting a good example for my 5 children. My mom took the needles out and laid out a game plan. She was going to use her needles and laser machine on me for the next couple of days. I woke up the next day, got ready for work, and cried in the Whole Foods parking lot. I was yelling and saying “why me? How can I go on?” Within 4 minutes or so I was overtaken by calm feelings and the voice inside my head said “there is more to you than your face. Now is the time to get yourself together and shine!” I tried to believe it.  As I was driving the two blocks to the dealership, I gathered the courage to get out of the car and go inside. I am a very talkative, smiley person. However, since I was still in training, I could conceal my  condition a little more by keeping physically busy and quiet. I focused on trying to move my muscles. I wanted just one twitch. I visualized it, closed my eyes, and visualized my nerves talking to my brain. I just wanted a connection! “Something, please God something!” Nothing happened. When I left work, I was praying on the way home. My mom needled and lasered me for the next couple of days. I became stronger with courage. I have now accepted my fate of not moving my face and possibly being this way the rest of my life. By Thursday, a miracle happened. I had a follow-up doctor appointment  and the doctor asked me if we knew each other. I had never seen this woman in my life. Her eyes however looked familiar.  I truly believe we see our souls through our eyes. She looked at my chart and told me “if I hadn’t read your chart, I would never have ever known you had Bell’s Palsey.” I told her what my mom had done for me and my mindset. She was amazed and so was I. I felt so good. I still believe this was a test and I had been asking the question “what is my purpose in life?” Here was my answer.  I realized how strong I am, what I am made of, and those revelations came from deep inside, inspired by God. You have to believe in yourself. I asked myself “If I died today and was shown my full potential, would I be disappointed that I didn’t maximize that potential?” My honest answer was yes I would be disappointed. Since the paralyzation last year, I have been trying to live my life to the fullest. I seek out new opportunities and smile at everyone. I am so blessed to have my smile back and the experiences I have had. Our experiences we have that are both good and bad are what shape us. Your soul is forged just like a piece of rock that is put under so much pressure it becomes a gorgeous, sought after diamond. Your soul is beautiful. You have the power to believe in yourself and be inspiring. What are you filling your mind with? I try to filter by garbage in, garbage out. Life can be difficult, but welcome those difficulties and overcome them. You will be a stronger person for that. Believe in yourself! You are possible! I am possible! Together we can conquer the world and bring lots of love and hope to other people’s lives. Hope keeps us going! Hope gives us superhero strength! Have a gorgeous day! Hugs:)