It’s not Impossible, It’s I’m Possible!

We all have that little voice inside our heads that speaks negatively to us. I know that voice used to be super loud and it hindered me from being successful or following through on anything. I would start projects with good intention and never finish them. I would doubt myself during the process and ditch whatever it was I was doing. What is my purpose in life? I have struggled with this question for years! Throughout my growing up I questioned what I was supposed to accomplish here on Earth. What was my passion? I love the phrase, “It’s only impossible until it is done.” It is so true! The mind is an amazing tool. We can use it for building a solid foundation for ourselves or we can use it to destroy ourselves. It wasn’t until last year, when the whole right side of my face became paralyzed, that I realized how strong I was. I was going through some difficult times with my kids and life just seemed to be burying me alive. I felt stressed and yet hopeful. I clung to positive thoughts and prayers. During Sunday night dinner, I sat with my kids and husband. I was feeling anxious so I decided to have a small glass of wine. As I sipped this small jelly sized jar of delicious Cabernet Sauvignon, I noticed the wine was missing my mouth and rolling down my chin. I hadn’t looked in the mirror at all that day. I rushed to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and tried to smile. My face didn’t work! The whole right side of my face didn’t move. I couldn’t even blink my eye all the way. I freaked out and my husband rushed me to the Urgency Room. I could have sworn I had a stroke. After many tests, a young doctor came in and gave me the diagnosis of Bell’s Palsey. The name itself made me feel absolutely horrible. What did I have? I told Alex to give me my phone so I could Google it. As I looked at the photos posted online and the explanation of the condition, I began to lose hope. I felt so bad and I thought my life was over. I know that sounds so shallow but that is how I felt. Feelings are feelings and I had feelings of loss and despair. I texted my mom who is an acupuncturist. She came over right away and put needles throughout my body. She told me she was going to do the stroke points. I figured, it can’t hurt. As I lay there with so many needles in my body, I started to feel more calm. I was able to breathe and get inside my head. I thought good and hard about my life. I was thinking about the new job I just started the previous week and my job involved talking to people. How am I going to speak if I can’t move my face? I felt like crawling in a hole and never showing my face to the world again. I knew that if I did that I wouldn’t be setting a good example for my 5 children. My mom took the needles out and laid out a game plan. She was going to use her needles and laser machine on me for the next couple of days. I woke up the next day, got ready for work, and cried in the Whole Foods parking lot. I was yelling and saying “why me? How can I go on?” Within 4 minutes or so I was overtaken by calm feelings and the voice inside my head said “there is more to you than your face. Now is the time to get yourself together and shine!” I tried to believe it.  As I was driving the two blocks to the dealership, I gathered the courage to get out of the car and go inside. I am a very talkative, smiley person. However, since I was still in training, I could conceal my  condition a little more by keeping physically busy and quiet. I focused on trying to move my muscles. I wanted just one twitch. I visualized it, closed my eyes, and visualized my nerves talking to my brain. I just wanted a connection! “Something, please God something!” Nothing happened. When I left work, I was praying on the way home. My mom needled and lasered me for the next couple of days. I became stronger with courage. I have now accepted my fate of not moving my face and possibly being this way the rest of my life. By Thursday, a miracle happened. I had a follow-up doctor appointment  and the doctor asked me if we knew each other. I had never seen this woman in my life. Her eyes however looked familiar.  I truly believe we see our souls through our eyes. She looked at my chart and told me “if I hadn’t read your chart, I would never have ever known you had Bell’s Palsey.” I told her what my mom had done for me and my mindset. She was amazed and so was I. I felt so good. I still believe this was a test and I had been asking the question “what is my purpose in life?” Here was my answer.  I realized how strong I am, what I am made of, and those revelations came from deep inside, inspired by God. You have to believe in yourself. I asked myself “If I died today and was shown my full potential, would I be disappointed that I didn’t maximize that potential?” My honest answer was yes I would be disappointed. Since the paralyzation last year, I have been trying to live my life to the fullest. I seek out new opportunities and smile at everyone. I am so blessed to have my smile back and the experiences I have had. Our experiences we have that are both good and bad are what shape us. Your soul is forged just like a piece of rock that is put under so much pressure it becomes a gorgeous, sought after diamond. Your soul is beautiful. You have the power to believe in yourself and be inspiring. What are you filling your mind with? I try to filter by garbage in, garbage out. Life can be difficult, but welcome those difficulties and overcome them. You will be a stronger person for that. Believe in yourself! You are possible! I am possible! Together we can conquer the world and bring lots of love and hope to other people’s lives. Hope keeps us going! Hope gives us superhero strength! Have a gorgeous day! Hugs:)

One thought on “It’s not Impossible, It’s I’m Possible!

  1. Pingback: It’s not Impossible, It’s I’m Possible! | Tiffany's Koolaid

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