Potential. What is it?

Potential.

What does it mean to have potential? We all have it. We have all heard the phrase “you have potential.” Seriously, what is it?  The definition of potential, if we use it as an adjective, is having the capacity to become or develop into something in the future. If we identify the word as a noun, it is defined as latent qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success or usefulness, according to Google.

So, when someone says we have potential, is that to be taken as a common phrase or do they really see something deeper in us? We all technically have potential. Some of us have less and some of us have more. As I try to figure out why I am here and what the heck it is I am good at, I think about other people. How do they identify and develop their talents. I believe there are people out there who look at us from a unique perspective that we don’t see. We can’t see their perspective because we have years of us, looking at ourselves from a foggy lens. Many of us see ourselves as the different labels that have been given to us from peers and those who are older than ourselves. It interests me how others look at themselves. So, I went digging. I clicked on various posts on the internet. Some were about fitness, some were about general topics, and some were about daily life. The common theme I noticed from women were, they would give their opinion and put themselves down in the process. It was as if, they were afraid of giving their opinion because they were not sure of what others were going to say. It is almost as if they bracing themselves for backlash or a put down comment. We all have potential. We all are capable of amazing things! We don’t allow ourselves the room to grow and be great. Try to change the negative thoughts you are thinking about yourself. Embrace your goofiness, uniqueness, and laugh. It is ok if you make mistakes. That is how we learn and grow. Masterpieces are created by accident. The artist keeps adding to the picture and then at the end, it may look nothing like he/she envisioned it. It is better! The artist gave themselves permission to make mistakes, add to the painting, and not follow a rigid set of rules. You are a human being with feelings. You bleed like everyone else. DO NOT limit your potential with your preconceived notions of who you view yourself as, through the eyes of the naysayers. Imagine what would happen if you worked on what speaks to you? Life is not set in stone. You can be that masterpiece that is created through many experiences and additions. Create you! Do what speaks to you and quit limiting yourself! Unlock your greatness!

Embrace the notion of change! Love yourself!

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Change your mind. Change your body. Change your life.

I have embarked on a change my life journey. What that includes is how I deal with stress, other people, my professional and personal life, and my body. For the past 16 days I have been to the gym working my tail off. Getting to the gym was a huge mental challenge for me. I had fallen off the workout “bandwagon” again. Two months ago if you would have told me I would go to the gym without fail and like it, I would have told you that isn’t going to happen. A couple weeks ago I was in a picture and when it was taken, I did not like it at all. My thoughts were, if you don’t like it, do something about it! Easier said than done, but my motivation was different this time. I had been feeling kind of cloudy in my thinking, lazy, and overwhelmed. Instead of coming up with solutions to my bad feelings, I came up with excuses. I have been wearing my Heart rate monitor every day. this has really helped me stay motivated. The featured image of my HR monitor are calories burned in 15 hours.  The last 16 days, I have noticed these changes:

  1. Instant energy
  2. feelings of euphoria
  3. no daily headaches
  4. more sleep
  5. I am hydrated
  6. I lost 5 inches off my abdomen
  7. my legs feel stronger
  8. my arms are more toned
  9. my skin is brighter
  10. my overall attitude is less stressed
  11. other people have noticed the physical changes
  12. my daughter is exercising with me now
  13. my ring isn’t tight anymore
  14. I am not as overwhelmed feeling
  15. I am able to focus more

Look at your life. My brain had to change. Once that changed my body followed. I feel more confident and happy. Today I didn’t want to go workout. I almost skipped but then decided I liked how I felt and have been feeling better, so I went anyway! Here is the view of my machine! At the end of the workout, I burned 590 calories in just 50 minutes. Push yourself! You will be happy you did.

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Life is precious

Life really is precious. Some people see everyday as a blessing and some see it as a curse. I woke up this morning with the worst feelings ever. I had the most messed up dream. Here is my dream:

I am crawling through these tunnels that have this brown and orange short pile 1970’s carpet. I have no idea where I am going or what is at the end of this maze. The ceiling is very low. I can’t sit up or I will hit my head. The maze goes up, down , and around. I am belly crawling. I am feeling scared but at the same time I am very curious where I am going to end up. As I approach what I view as the end, the ceiling gets higher. This reminds me of something out of Willy Wonka. As I am going to exit this maze, a man and a woman are entering it from what I think is the exit. They looked apprehensive but joyful. As I exit, I step into this little run down shack. It looks like a playhouse that is maybe the size of a 6×8 foot shed. There are tools hanging up, cobwebs, and it looks abandoned. There is a flat screen TV on the wall and under it the sign reads “The scariest part of the movie is the survey at the end.” Weird I thought. Then I see a door that is rickety. I try to open it and it only opens to a point. There is a board that keeps it from opening. I see the outside and I know I definitely don’t want to go back into that maze again. I try harder to get the door open, thinking I can get it just enough to slip out. I was successful. I looked out the door and saw the University where I thought I started was just down the road. I look down and there is a crate with what I thought was a doll. A real looking doll. I stared at it longer and then I see the eyes move. My heart felt like it was racing. I looked around and there were people hanging out across road. Some of them were staring at me. I yelled, “help me! There is a baby left in this crate!” No one came. I could hear mumbled words. I looked at the baby, approximately 3 months old, to assess if I should pick him up. I didn’t know if there was anything broken. His brown eyes looked at me in pain. I picked him up and noticed there was a blanket in the crate. He was in a sitting up position just discarded. I held him and started to wrap the blanket around him. It was dreary and cold out. Then all of a sudden, out of the blue, this man comes and takes the blanket saying he was going to give it to his other children and this baby didn’t deserve it. I was horrified. I felt like he was the father. He had this beard/mustache, his eyes were dark, and he looked mean. I knew I needed to rescue this kid. As I turned around and began to cover this kid with my blazer I was wearing, a woman’s voice began speaking. I heard her say ” Jason has been being mean to him because he is disabled.” I knew at that point she discarded her baby. I could feel the hurt in her voice but on the other hand, how could she do something like this? I didn’t look back. I looked down running and held the baby so close to me as I told him I was going to keep him safe. I started running to the hospital.

I woke up feeling horrible. I wanted that baby! I also couldn’t believe someone would throw a baby away! I am of the opinion all life needs to be regarded as precious. I am praying for all those kids who live in fear and are being abused. As adults, we are in charge of these children. If you know a child is being abused or neglected, do something! We need to be the voice and strength for these helpless little beings. As a society, we need to help others, especially the children.  My heart aches……………

Do good today!

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Greed. Pride. Revenge.

I am amazed( I shouldn’t be) at what someone will do for money, power, or just out of pure pride. It is interesting what happens to a family after the grandparents die. I thought we had a solid-ish kind of family. For years we would go to my grandparents house and have family get togethers just because. The cousins would play, the family would engage in pointless discussions with my grandpa, and my grandma would provide beautiful meals for the family to enjoy. My grandma dies and then 9 months later my grandpa dies. What happens to the family? Everyone takes sides and fights over land. Of all things, LAND! I am of the opinion that a person should not burn bridges over stupid things, that in the grand scheme of things, really doesn’t matter. Now this land is being sold behind my mother’s back. I found out and told her about it just before the time it is supposed to close. It amazes me what some people will do. You sure see how black a person’s heart is when money is more important than relationships. Money comes and goes. You can always earn more money, but, when words are said and actions are taken to do something horrible like cheat another, these things are really hard to earn back. I have always told my kids, if you are stuck on the moon by yourself, don’t forget your manners. I say this because once we stop doing the right or nice thing, it is easy to fall into the wrong pattern and not do the right or nice thing. I was at my cousin’s house yesterday and found all of this stuff out. When I was there, my daughter Athena and I felt a strange presence/feeling. A negative feeling. Maybe we felt my grandpa? I find it to be strange that I found this out days before the closing. We just never know what forces are at play. My moral of this story is, take the high road. Even if someone is not being nice and taking advantage of you, you always have a choice. How you react to a situation is what shows the world your character. My lesson learned is now we know what these people are like and we can do the opposite. It still hurts and sucks, but, we have to look ourselves in the mirror everyday. Do you like what you see? If not, figure out how to change it. An evil heart will make any pretty face look ugly. Revenge, deceit, and greed will never get you anything. It is not worth losing your soul over such petty things.

Have a wonderful day!

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Teenagers need hugs too!

When my kids were little, I hugged them all the time. I swept them up into my arms and cuddled with them. There is nothing like a newborn baby smell and feel. They are snuggly bundles of goodness. As the kids grew and I had more, I became a little overwhelmed. At one point, I had 4 kids under 5. That is stressful and puts strain on everything, including a marriage. It is super easy to get caught up in daily struggles that I would sometimes forget to hug the older kids. My oldest got into some drugs at 14 and that was the worst nightmare for me. I saw my little precious baby who was completely lost. I cried and wondered what is it I can do? Instead of thinking what I can do for punishment, I thought “what is this child missing?” What am I doing or not doing? As I thought about it, I realized I don’t know when the last time I actually hugged her was.  That is when it hit me hard! I began, against her will, hugging her 3 times a day and saying I loved her. At first she would push me away and say “don’t touch me!” My response was “I birthed you, I can hug you.” I didn’t stop hugging her and telling her 3 times a day I loved her and valued her. Almost 3 weeks into this routine, she began meeting me at the door when I got home from anywhere I went. She would meet me at the door and say “welcome home” and hug me! I couldn’t believe it! I would hug her and she was receptive! It’s amazing how such a small act, such as hugging, can make such a huge difference. I know as a parent, I am extremely busy and life gets super crazy. It is easy to skip these small but big things in life. I challenge you to think about when the last time you hugged your older child is. If you realize you don’t do it everyday, start today by hugging them. If you lose touch with them, it is easy for them to get into other bad things such as drugs. They will go looking for acceptance elsewhere. I know this because I did this too. As I look back on my life, I realize I should have died on numerous occasions. The substances I was putting into my body to numb myself, were horrendous. I wish there were a booklet on parenting, but there isn’t. We are learning as we go. Don’t be too hard on yourself, you will make mistakes and mess up big time. Just learn from it and move on.

Have a super wonderful day!!!!!

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Get your head right! Your life depends on it!

I know changing the way you think and see things is super challenging. Getting your mind to think positively and logically takes time. It is hard work. There is more to it than just adjusting your perspective. Your language has to change. Be careful how you speak to yourself because you are always listening. When you change your mind, your body will follow. I’ll let you in on a little secret, I have a huge food problem. Ever since I was 11 and was made to stand on the scale in front of family members, I began to see my body in a different way. I shamed myself a lot. I was told that I was overweight. I remember that day in my grandma’s bathroom. I weighed 101 pounds. I was told I shouldn’t weigh that much. I was told I need to lose weight. I was told my grandma weighed 110 pounds pregnant by my grandpa. I felt like complete sh*t. That is when my world of eating disorders began. I ate ice all the time instead of food. At 12, we moved to Minneapolis. I was uprooted from my school and I had to make friends in a new school. By the time I was 12 and in 6th grade, I hated my body. I hated it so much that I began eating and eating and eating. I ate so much that I was 180 pounds within the year. I stayed home and didn’t socialize. Then something happened that summer. I realized that I need to lose weight. So, I went from binging to starving myself. I rode my bike everywhere and obsessed over my looks. I was told constantly by a few girls in the class that I was ugly, they would make fun of my features. That made my downward spiral even worse. So now I feel fat and ugly. I promise you, this is a hard position to be in mentally. It took me years  to even learn how to sort my feelings out. By the time 7th grade started I was 118 pounds. I was actually skinny looking. I always had a booty, so that was the next feature to be made fun of by the girls. You know what I realized though? The boys liked it! So, I paid no attention to the girls. My point in opening up to you all is, I get the mental challenges. They absolutely suck. They are so hard to break through. I am 39 years old and I am just beginning to understand who I really am. I am able to take who I saw in the mirror and actually like myself. I am no longer seeing myself through the eyes of mean teenage girls. I am shedding all of that nonsense and shining my own light. I am taking the horrible experiences of my life and learning from them. I hope to be able to share them with the world so that maybe someone out there will be helped by my advice. We have to enjoy the journey because the destination in life is death. Don’t die while you are living. Make the most of this life. Do the impossible. Love yourself. Like I said, this will be work. It took me years to be able to tell this story because I felt so ashamed of me. I vowed to fix this situation by never doing this to my children. By encouraging them to be healthy and to be supportive of them in all aspects. I do my best and I remember how I felt. No one should ever feel that way.

I love you all!

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What is the source of your own happiness?

I have been pondering this question for years. It seemed no matter what I had or who I was with I was not “happy”. Then I realized, I can’t expect anyone to make me happy. I am not happy because I am not at peace with myself. There were things that I had not forgiven myself for. I have heard the question from many people, “how can I forgive myself?” Honestly, doing that is the hardest obstacle to hurdle. Forgiving yourself means letting go of pain, hurt, suffering that you endured. Forgiving others is almost easier than forgiving oneself. We are our biggest critics. We are harder and more mean to ourselves than any one enemy could be to us. I am amazed at how we allow ourselves to talk to ourselves. It is awful. If we said out loud what we think on a daily basis to someone else, we would be so appalled. So, why do we allow ourselves to do this? It is easy to think negatively. It is easy to be mean to ourselves. We may feel like we deserve the punishment for things in the past. No amount of punishment you put on yourself is going to change the past. You have to break the cycle of nonsense and love yourself. When you accept yourself and allow yourself to be you, you will truly break those chains free. Until then, you are a slave to your feelings. No one deserves punishment for the rest of their lives. You have paid greatly already for your sins. Let it go. Truly let it go! Be yourself. Love yourself. As soon as you do that, your real light will shine!

Shine bright my friends!

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