Why?

So, I am going to write about something that is not a positive. I am just not understanding why people are the way they are. Why do men and women use each other? Who can you trust? I was just told about a guy at my work that was bragging to other men that are co-workers that he “banged” a 19 year old and sent the pictures to his ex that recently broke up with him. Seriously???? If this guy ever told me that, he would be barking up the wrong tree! I have 3 daughters and one is 19 this year. Do guys think they look more appealing sounding like an asshole? If these kinds of guys are what most of the world is made up of, I will remain single because I do not want to get involved with someone like that. Could you imagine dating someone you think is being honest and he just wants to bang you then move on to the next woman? I heard about this last night and woke up in a fighting mood. I am really protective of my children. If my boys ever treated a girl/woman this way, they would not want to be in my path. However, I hope that I have instilled the values and morals in them their whole lives that I would hope and pray that what I have tried to teach them sticks. I am constantly telling them to be nice to girls and treat them with the utmost respect. As long as I am living in this world, I will always tell my kids this. They will be 40 and I will still remind them. I wanted to always raise my kids with morals and the values this world seems to be lacking. We are supposed to respect others, not use them until they have nothing left, because you took it all, and then leave.

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My friend…..

What does it mean to be a friend to someone? Are you a friend? I think about my closest friends that I had in my life. I am forever grateful to have such great people I can count on in my life. We go through this life once and if you can get connected on such a level with another individual, you are truly lucky. The older I get the more deeply connected I want to be. I don’t need tons of friends, just a few good ones.

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Laughter is the best medicine……laughter will set you free!

Life can be stressful and energy depleting but it is also fun and interesting. I love feeling happy and the only way I know how to do that it is to laugh often. I love the feeling of laughing so hard that I can barely breathe. It is completely exhilarating! I feel instant stress relief and an endorphin rush. Feelings are contagious. I want to influence others and myself in a positive way. I see so many people everyday that just look upset, depleted, and not happy. The only one responsible for your happiness is you. You are the one that can make you happy, not anyone else. Figure out what you like to do, try something new, and just have a good time. No matter what you are doing in this life, laugh often. If you are hanging around people that bring you down, find new friends to be around. Take yourself out and have a good time. I look at kids and I see them goofing around and not taking everything so seriously. There are times that you will need to be focused and serious, but don’t forget to let loose once in awhile. If you want to live a long life, you have to relax and enjoy it.

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Happy St. Valentine’s Day!

I woke up this morning to a beautiful sunrise! I am grateful every morning that I am blessed to see another day. The sun is so bright filtering through my curtains. Today just seems perfect. Happy St. Valentine’s Day! Have you ever looked at the history of what most people are calling a Hallmark holiday? Emperor Claudius the second actually executed two men named Valentine on February 14. I know that is seems like doom and gloom. I just find it interesting how things are the way they are. There are many speculations as to what the men named Valentine did in their lifetime. The emperor killed them for wedding Christian couples in the 1400’s. So, maybe that is another reason that Valentine’s Day is a day of love? I think that we have many reasons to celebrate love and connections. Love comes in many forms. We can go out into this world today and love one another just by being kind. Hold a door for a stranger or simply smile at people you come in contact with. These acts of kindness don’t cost you anything except for your effort. That effort is worth a lot more than any money in the world. The one thing a person can give and never get back is their time. I feel many people in this world don’t value their time or account for it as precious. If you want to show someone you care for them, spend time with them. It isn’t about what you own, how big your bank account is, it is about the intangibles you give. The most valuable things on this Earth cannot be measured. Take the time to share your thoughts with another person. Take the time to chat face to face. These are the moments you will remember. Have a beautiful St. Valentine’s Day!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Who we think we are, defines us.

I have different views of who I think I am. If I go back to grade school, I can still hear some of the kids who were mean to me, the girls who were cruel to me in middle school, and the kids that talked behind my back in high school. If I allow those feelings and words to drive me, I will be what I think they think of me. It took me years to get those thoughts and feelings under control. I went through life hating my nose for instance. I was always told it was too big and it made me ugly. Kids can be cruel and kids also can say things that are mean maybe because they feel bad about themselves. We just don’t know what is going on in their head and therefore, we can’t allow it to rule our heads either. You are not who you think other people think you are. One freedom I have found in my 40’s is, I can be the person I want to be. I had a boyfriend tell me in the last year that if another guy saw me naked, he would never call me again. Those words hurt, however, as I looked at the person saying it, I wondered if that was true, why did he want to stay with me. Of course, we are no longer together. Saying mean things to others and putting them down is a true measure of how that person views themselves. Either that, or they are just trying to control you by trying to take your self-esteem away. In any case, don’t allow it to define you. Who are you? More importantly, who are you to yourself. I got dressed up yesterday and took myself out on a date with myself. It may sound strange but if I do not value myself, why should anyone else? Love yourself truly. That is the most freeing feeling. Accepting yourself completely is what love really is. You don’t need anyone to make you whole. A life partner should add not take away. You are whole already. Make deeper connections.

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4 words that make a difference.

In this world there are many people. I see so many people standing in elevators and playing games like candy crush on their phone, texting while crossing the street, texting while on a date…….. I have noticed since I have “holstered” my phone, how many people are going through this world not paying attention. I started noticing details like the light posts in downtown St. Paul covered in pole sweaters. Attached to these sweaters are laminated card talking about the person who made them. If I were to text walking down the sidewalk, I would miss this detail and not be able to laugh and think “only in Minnesota!” I would have missed out on the joy of seeing this. I would have missed the woman struggling with the baby to get into a warm building because it was -11 outside and the stroller was stuck on the ice. I would have missed the old woman in the grocery store who was struggling carrying her bag of groceries because her muscles were atrophied. I would have missed the couple who was taking a picture of the ice castle. I would have missed the dog who was walking so excitedly down the street. I would have missed the street vendor handing out a bag of actual roasted chestnuts. I would have missed all of these moments in time that make up a lifetime of memories. The 4 words that change lives are ” may I help you?” We go through this life thinking about ourselves. We fail to notice where we can be significant to others. That significance gives you feelings and feelings are what drive you. We all need hope and love. Most of all, we as humans, need to feel connected. Through the technology we have, I am convinced we are more disconnected than ever. Many people turn to substances to make them feel better when maybe in reality, reaching out and make connections is what they really crave. The old woman I helped in the grocery store, reached out to me to say have a wonderful day. She also thanked me for the help. She seemed surprised to be offered help. Stop and look around you. Life is passing you by.
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I own……..

nothing except my actions. The older I get and the more detached from the material world I allow myself to be, the clearer I see things. I am not as wise as a person who has lived 80 years, but, I do know that I am in control of what I choose to do. I have to take responsibility for my actions and I am in control of how I treat others. I have been telling my kids that you never have to apologize for being kind to others. It doesn’t matter if someone tricked you into doing something for them because your intention and your actions are what affect you. Be happy and content with your actions. Don’t focus on the ill will of others or the manipulation of others. In the end, your actions and what you do are all you own. Nothing in this world that is material is worth your soul. Love and live as good of a life as you can.
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